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Why I Did These Pages

Saturday, 21 April 2007 05:38:46 PM

   

For many years I have been following the Princess of Wales. I have collected Woman's magazines from Weddings, Baptism, etc. Some as it turns out seem to be quite valuable now. These pages have been categorised into various colours she wore, her famous hats, pictures with Charles, her children, her trip to India, her Red Cross work, and with Mother Therese & Nelson Mandela etc

 

Prince William was born 2 weeks before my eight-month-old son died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. My baby Andrew ripped up my New Idea magazine with Princess Diana and baby Prince William. From that day I have looked at William grow and always wondered what my son would have been like today had he lived. As my son died on the 12th July 1982 and William was born 21st June just 3 weeks before. So for many years I was very busy dealing with grief and my next 2 babies, I seldom brought books, or magazine with any of her photographs. I had a in my collection from wedding etc and then collected more after she died. I still cry when I see he on TV or read books about her life and death.

 

I am afraid I was always looking in admiration of her personal growth from "Shy Di" to a very confident and beautiful young woman. I am guilty of buying the books and magazines after she died, from the very people who that seem to have urged photographers to intrude on her life to the point it took her life away from us all, or so we are lead to believe. For this I am deeply sorry.

 

That sadly is where that chapter stopped. Her life taken from us too soon and of course her much-adored sons Prince William and Prince Harry have lost their mother.

 

So much has been written about her after her death and photographs have still been appearing in magazines, books have been written. Some of these have left a very unpleasant feeling about her short life. All our mistakes are not played out for the world to see and hear. Even today we still are bombarded with it. Will the truth ever emerge?

 

No matter what your feelings are on her life, we will never know the anguish that Prince Charles and Princess Diana went through. That is private, not for our eyes and ears.

 

We must now let her be at peace at last, something she fought so hard for. Many have written that she sought publicity and played her part in receiving the attention when needed. At times she appeared to be seeking some admiration for her deeds and compassionate work, but seems she was merely seeking some solace and comfort in her troubled times, when all seemed to be getting her down. She was not appreciated whilst living for her wonderful efforts from the royal family. She was unique and no one will ever fill her shoes.

 

I am sure she would not have wanted to be a saint type person like Mother Theresa and held up in the same way she obviously felt for Mother Theresa.

 

There is no doubt Prince Charles upbringing has had an impact on his ability to make his own choices on to whom his partner was to be. We are not Royal and we have absolutely no idea what a burden it has been for them all. The Queen has truly taken on her responsibly with deep convictions and loyalty to the Throne. However it has not been without cost to their lives. The high divorce rate in this family must sadden her deeply.

 

Now we are approaching 9 years since we lost Princess Diana. He sons are grown and I am sure will have a hard time escaping the media. We might go off the rails and slip from time to time. But all they do is out there for the whole world to judge.
 
Now that Prince Charles has married Camilla, we seems to be seeing again more photographs and talk of her accident and the inquiry into that fateful night.
 
I still simply cannot believe she has gone. She will never age and she will remain eternally young, sweet and beautiful. Her style grace, clothes and hats will be etched in history as our 'Style Di'. I have seen any Hollywood stars fill the huge gap she has left. Princess Diana looks so attractive as she matured with making her own mark with what she wore.
 
Now I have visited Althorp in July 2005, I feel a strange closeness to her.  If the Earl Charles Spencer had not opened the house to visitors I would never had to chance to see her dresses and some of childhood memories, and just to feel close to her, as no one has done anything decent in her memory. So for this I am so grateful. I went there on the anniversary of my baby son's death. So I sat there for hours in the solace of her burial spot on the island, thinking about her and my Andrew.
The night that Princess Diana was to die I was sitting here at my computer very late. Actually  it was the early hours of the morning, and I had this overwhelming urge  to search for the words to Stop the Clocks a poem that W. H. Auden wrote and that was read in the movie as part of an eulogy in Four Weddings and a Funeral. The Internet of course turned up the poem within seconds and I read them feeling quite uneasy, when I read these words. Some time later that morning, we were to hear that Princess Diana , had died. Those words came back to haunt me. I looked few days later, for those words I had saved and saw the time was 12.55am 31 August 1997. Here are those words for those who would like to read them.
 
"Funeral Blues"
By W H Auden
Stop all the clocks and cut off the telephone.
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos, and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
.......................
Let airplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling in the sky, the message He is dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of public doves.
Let policeman wear black cotton gloves.
.......................
He was my north, my south, my east, my west.
My working week and my Sunday rest.
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song.
I thought love would last forever;  I was wrong.
.......................
The stars are not wanted now put out everyone;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now, can ever come to any good.
....................
From
4 Weddings and a Funeral.... just so fitting for our Princess.